I arrived in Edinburgh early afternoon and was met by a distant relative (my mother’s sister’s husband’s brother) at the train station. Martin (my mother’s sister’s husband’s brother) was kind enough to put me up at his flat during my stay, and as it turns out, he is also an excellent tour guide of the city. This was especially helpful for several reasons – not least because it meant that I didn’t have to find (and pay for) accommodation, but also because it was the tail end of the Edinburgh Fringe Festival and it would be impossible to find accommodation anywhere in the city otherwise.
Edinburgh is a very beautiful city.
Beautiful in a different way to somewhere like Amsterdam or Prague. Edinburgh has gorgeous buildings, sure – but it’s constantly changing weather and environment, mixed with the duotone stone masonry of the city give it a feeling that I don’t think you’d find anywhere else in the world.
It’s similar to Wellington with its changeable climate and such, but it’s also similar in that it’s a city that’s alive with culture and heritage and conflict and ghosts. Even taking the train into the city was a treat, as the Scottish scenery was gorgeous, and a complete juxtaposition to the crumbly and industrial English scenery. Beaches, lighthouses and churches dotted the landscape which made for a very pleasant journey indeed.
Okay, I will accept that Wellington doesn’t really have the same conflict or ghost stories. Or really any ghost stories. But I did go on a ghost tour of the city. More on that later.
It was lovely during the day, and hilarious during the night. Once the sun goes down it seems that everyone in Edinburgh coordinates their clothing for the night and hobbles into town for a night on the drink. I am not exaggerating when I say 80% of the women I saw were all dolled up in the same short skirt/dress, high heels that were so tall that they actually pushed the girls to a lean forward, which any gust of wind could easily take advantage of their imbalance, to much comic effect. If it wasn’t a short skirt it was usually a pair of white pants, which had been attacked by a bedazzler. It was quite a sight to behold, and I took great pleasure in watching the young ladies try and negotiate the cobbled streets with their stilettos. Not always successfully.
You could really tell that something had taken Edinburgh by the hand and pulled it off a cliff, throwing the city into a city full of tourists and entertainers – August sees Edinburgh host both the Military Tattoo and the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, and so the city braces itself for an influx of performers (ranging from excellent to awful) and tourists (ranging from kiwis to Americans). I actually got the impression that the locals didn’t really like the influx of people into the city (despite the influx of money that accompanied everyone except me), though they tolerated them because that’s what the Brits (and Scots) do.
I saw three shows at the Fringe Festival. One of my friends from Sydney had a show called “Princess Cabaret”, which was basically ‘after happily ever after’ for Disney Princesses. It was a lot of fun to watch, and has received rave reviews from many of the Fringe reviewers. I have since learned though that you can’t rely on Fringe reviewers to give an honest assessment, as all shows seemed to receive at least four stars (out of five), despite the fact that all you need to do to be in the festival is to book a venue and pay the registration fee. I had no desire to watch a show where university drama students ‘take the piss’ out of contemporary drama theory utilizing the little-known but much hated ‘pretentious tableau’ technique. Seriously wanky, and not worth the effort to find it, even if most of their shows were free.
While it would have been very easy to spend my time (and money) watching festival shows, I also took the time to explore the city. I took the opportunity to take in a ghost tour of the city – labeled “City of the Dead”. These are almost iconic to Edinburgh, as it's meant to be Europe's most haunted city.
We started off with a basic summary of the city’s brutal past – including what life was like in what the locals described as ‘hell on earth’ and ‘damnation alley’. Basically the city was so overcrowded during the 15-17th centuries, that the local council would routinely hold 200 executions a day as ‘population control’. Overcrowding led to vagrants, sick, or otherwise unwanted people taking up shelter under the bridge. Fires, famine, and disease wiped out tens of thousands of people over the years, which is said to explain why there is so much paranormal activity down there. So clearly it’s a good place to take tourists.
This tour led us under South Bridge where it was alleged to be inhabited by your standard ghosts and even a poltergeist. I’m not sure what exactly constitutes a standard ghost, but I did get a photo of one.
The orb in the middle of the photo is supposed to be a ghost, and is not explainable by science (other than as a ghost orb). I did try and trick a ghost into being in my photo, but I guess it didn't work:
The bridge was dank and smelly, and we were warned under no uncertain terms that we weren’t to lick the walls. I asked if this was a common problem amongst his tour groups, to which the guide looked at me as if I had just farted and reminded me that he was the expert on paranormal activity and that I had paid to be informed. Chastised, I refrained from licking the walls (though I was tempted just out of spite!).
Aside from that little moment of oddity, the tour itself was really rather interesting. We heard about some of the paranormal activity that takes place under the bridge, and also about the particularly nasty poltergeist that keeps interfering with people during the tour; often leaving with unexplained bruises or scratches about their person when nothing has happened. Unless you count being grabbed by a ghost as something, I suppose.
I remain unconvinced that the orb in this photo is actually a ghost, and not just a lens flare from a pitch black cave meters underground, or perhaps even a weather balloon.
Edinburgh is so far my favourite city on this trip. The others were great - some had their charms and attractions, some had gypsies. But Edinburgh had something that drew me in and I don't think will ever let me go. It's probably a ghost.
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